I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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