doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize