I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
