My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize