FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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