Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
