Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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