Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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