There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
