im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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