PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
