no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
