bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We need a shit load of segways right now
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The struggles of a small town man whore
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
