im about as happy as oj after his trial
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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