ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
