so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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