YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
