note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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