Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
