um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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