How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
