Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
