just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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