thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
