Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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