you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
