What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
