i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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