girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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