I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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