Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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