I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
