is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize