So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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