why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
