Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize