The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
