New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
