Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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