the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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