I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
