she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She bit a glass in half.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
