i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
