I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
