he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Bring me that man meat
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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