Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
