I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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