he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize