No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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