mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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