K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How external is "for external use only"?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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