mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
