Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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