dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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