At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
