I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
