Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize
