I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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