sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
