ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
