I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
